At some point during the evening, smallclanger managed to find a lipstick sampler and get the inside out before putting the lid back on. The first I knew about this was when, in the darkness after putting him to bed, I noticed a large red-brown splodge on the rug in his room. There didn't seem to be any sign of the actual lipstick until (and no doubt this is patently obvious to everyone except, at the time, me) I also noticed it on the floor in the kitchen and thought to look at the bottom of my shoe. Oh dear. So we decided to borrow the in-laws' steam cleaner for the carpets, and buy a Stain Devil for the washable rugs.
Next morning, not long before I was due to leave for work, smallclanger did a big sloppy poo and proceeded to take his nappy off. He was ordered to stay still while I cleaned him up. Just then, bopeepsheep started coming down the stairs, so I took a brief pause to pick up and dispose of the nappy before she stepped in it. While I did that, smallclanger only went and sat down on the sofa, leaving a big brown mark. Definitely need the steam cleaner, then (though it did come off pretty well with a baby wipe).
So I set off to work, late as usual. I heard reports that smallclanger was not exactly on his best behaviour, and he was still throwing things when I got back.
There was a big box in the living room: the new laptop that I accidentally won in an eBay auction had arrived. While I was eating my tea I carefully removed the tape and peeked in the box. It was full of those little polystyrene nuggets, so I closed it again until I had a container to empty them into. We were actually in a bit of a hurry to get out (as we needed to collect a play kitchen as well as the steam-cleaner) and smallclanger was being a bit stroppy about eating his dinner, so we gave up.
I nipped upstairs to the loo. Apparently I am never allowed to do this without being followed, so smallclanger came up the stairs, and as I came out of the bathroom, he ran towards me knocking over a big pot of green paint. The lid came open and it spilled all over the landing carpet.
While we were trying to clear it up as best we could before rushing out, we heard a voice from downstairs: "It's snowing!". We didn't even have to go downstairs to know that the floor was covered in small polystyrene nuggets…
Fortunately, smallclanger fell asleep in the car while we were out, so he couldn't do any more mischief that day.